| 2 | ✦ |
| 3 | ✦ > I. Before Anybody Had Pants |
| 4 | ✦ > II. The Stone Age Bonk Empire |
| 5 | ✦ > III. Mammoth Disco and the Age of Extremely Loud Fur |
| 6 | ✦ > IV. Mud Bricks, Kings, and the First Guy Who Ruined Everything with Taxes |
| 7 | ✦ > V. Pyramid Schemes and Sand-Grade Megalomania |
| 8 | ✦ > VI. Greece, Rome, and the Golden Age of Looking Philosophical While Being Extremely Petty |
| 9 | ✦ > VII. Barbarians, Bards, and the Great Medieval Soup Spill |
| 10 | ✦ > VIII. Dragons, Wizards, and Other Perfectly Reasonable Medieval Problems |
| 11 | ✦ > IX. The Renaissance, or: Humanity Discovers Muscles, Perspective, and Swag |
| 12 | ✦ > X. Pirates, Cannons, and the Wet Screaming of Global Trade |
| 13 | ✦ > XI. Steam, Soot, and the Tall Hat Menace |
| 14 | ✦ > XII. The Age of Electricity and Other Terrible Ideas with Great Lighting |
| 15 | ✦ > XIII. The Cinema Age and the Rise of Giant Feelings |
| 16 | ✦ > XIV. The Space Age, or Humanity Touches the Sky and Immediately Brings Snacks |
| 17 | ✦ > XV. Computers, Keyboards, and the Digital Goblin Awakening |
| 18 | ✦ > XVI. The Internet Opens the Floodgates of Pure Goblin Behavior |
| 19 | ✦ > XVII. Gamers, Memes, and the Ascension of Extremely Online Brains |
| 20 | ✦ > XVIII. Cats Seize the Means of Attention |
| 21 | ✦ > XIX. Robots Learn Middle Management |
| 22 | ✦ > XX. Dragons Return Wearing Jetpacks |
| 23 | ✦ > XXI. Humanity Unlocks God Mode and Immediately Uses It for Dumb Stuff |
| 24 | ✦ > XXII. The Official Moral, Which Nobody Will Follow |
| 25 | ✦ > XXIII. Appendix of Tiny Historical Truths the Textbooks Fear |
| 26 | ✦ > XXIV. Closing Ceremony of Maximum Whack |