THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF HUMANITY IN MAX WHACK MODE

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XXIV. Closing Ceremony of Maximum WhackURL copied

STONE AGE • BRONZE AGE • CASTLE AGE • PIRATE AGE • SPACE AGE • MEME AGE • CAT AGE • GOD MODE AGE • SAME MONKEY, BETTER TOYS •

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If you have read this far, you are either a scholar, a fool, or the chosen witness of the WHACK APOCALYPSE.

Take pride in this.

Take snacks as well.

The species may yet survive, but only if it remembers the sacred triad of STYLE, CHAOS, and ABSURDITY.

May your fires stay warm.

May your robots remain unionized.

May your dragons be cooperative.

May your cats occasionally respect you.

May your memes age badly but lovingly.

And may your homepage forever look like it was built by a wizard with too much Mountain Dew and absolutely no adult supervision.

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2	✦
3	✦ > I. Before Anybody Had Pants
4	✦ > II. The Stone Age Bonk Empire
5	✦ > III. Mammoth Disco and the Age of Extremely Loud Fur
6	✦ > IV. Mud Bricks, Kings, and the First Guy Who Ruined Everything with Taxes
7	✦ > V. Pyramid Schemes and Sand-Grade Megalomania
8	✦ > VI. Greece, Rome, and the Golden Age of Looking Philosophical While Being Extremely Petty
9	✦ > VII. Barbarians, Bards, and the Great Medieval Soup Spill
10	✦ > VIII. Dragons, Wizards, and Other Perfectly Reasonable Medieval Problems
11	✦ > IX. The Renaissance, or: Humanity Discovers Muscles, Perspective, and Swag
12	✦ > X. Pirates, Cannons, and the Wet Screaming of Global Trade
13	✦ > XI. Steam, Soot, and the Tall Hat Menace
14	✦ > XII. The Age of Electricity and Other Terrible Ideas with Great Lighting
15	✦ > XIII. The Cinema Age and the Rise of Giant Feelings
16	✦ > XIV. The Space Age, or Humanity Touches the Sky and Immediately Brings Snacks
17	✦ > XV. Computers, Keyboards, and the Digital Goblin Awakening
18	✦ > XVI. The Internet Opens the Floodgates of Pure Goblin Behavior
19	✦ > XVII. Gamers, Memes, and the Ascension of Extremely Online Brains
20	✦ > XVIII. Cats Seize the Means of Attention
21	✦ > XIX. Robots Learn Middle Management
22	✦ > XX. Dragons Return Wearing Jetpacks
23	✦ > XXI. Humanity Unlocks God Mode and Immediately Uses It for Dumb Stuff
24	✦ > XXII. The Official Moral, Which Nobody Will Follow
25	✦ > XXIII. Appendix of Tiny Historical Truths the Textbooks Fear
26	✦ > XXIV. Closing Ceremony of Maximum Whack